May 24th / 190,700 notes †So today this guy accidentally hit me with the door when he was walking out of a classroom and instead of saying sorry he just looked me over and said ‘pretty cute’ and walked away . And then I realized . I literally just got hit on . The pun is greater than the pain .
I guess you could say that he adores you
get the fuck out
May 23rd / 138,627 notes †Aren’t you like 12 said the 16 year old to the 15 year old
12: the most hated age in the world
- (I’m running errands for my pregnant wife. While walking to a nearby store, I see two teenagers harassing a child that is only four or five years old. I shoo them away from the boy, and he introduces himself.)
- Me: “So, where’s your mom at?”
- Boy: “She’s in the store. Do you have kids?”
- Me: “Not yet. We’re expecting a baby girl soon, though.”
- Boy: “Well, she’s going to turn out nice, like you! So, I’m going to marry her someday!”
- (I laugh, and play along while I bring him to the service desk, and wait until his mom picks him up. Six years later, my daughter comes home from school and introduces us to a friend that defended her against a bully on the playground. I didn’t recognize him, but he certainly knew who I was!)
May 22nd / 18,721 notes †if you eat a chicken and egg sandwich, you’re basically eating one thing at different times of its life
like when you eat a baby and an elderly person at the same time.
